SatireV

Breaking

and entering

UK

Earz Wot Reillaigh Hahpend Wiv vuh Queen. ISS THA TRUEF!

A photo of Big Ben in London

*Out of respect for British readers, this article was written in English Received Pronunciation. (Also known as a British dialect or the Queen’s English)*

LONDON, England—Bockinghim Palaess ass joss towld us aboeut Lizzie n awll. Iss a murkin shaeme ‘at vuh old wanker ‘ad to keick thu krumpet sew sooen. 

Oi! Woss Happ-pend is sum lads fink vuh queen dieyin iss uh bit sad n awll innit? Wyle tha reist uf os blokes seiy thvat witch woss ay bloody cheeky muppet.

Wei ‘eard frum sohm low-kulls abaioueght ther foghts ohn Elizabeth’s deaf n’ all:

President Erdogan Seeks Advice From Theresa May On How To Consolidate Power

LONDON, UK — After Theresa May’s announcement to the British people that she will hold a snap general election in June 2017, sources indicate Turkish President Recep Erdogan has reached out to the British Prime Minister for guidance on how to more effectively consolidate his power and control over Turkey.
 

British Government to Decide On All Future Policies By “Settling It Outside”

LONDON, UK,…EU?—After a chaotic week in which UK Independence Party MEP and leadership candidate Steven Woolfe was checked into a hospital following an “altercation” at a party meeting, the British government has announced that it will no longer vote on policy decisions, and will instead resolve such issues by “settling it outside”.
 

This Man Now Inexplicably Important

LONDON -- Over the weekend, British Prime Minister David Cameron announced that British citizens would vote this June on whether Great Britain should remain in the European Union. This man-- pictured right here in this article-- became inexplicably important when he announced he would campaign for Britain's exit from the EU, or "Brexit."