SatireV

Breaking

and entering

tragedy

RadioShack Outlasted by Both Radios and Shacks

RadioShack announced yesterday that it will close 187 stores, meaning both radios and shacks will outlive it.

The company has been around for 96 years, having spent the last 95 slowly dying. Radio has thrived for 122 years, having been a platform for the likes of Larry King and Ira Glass. Shacks have existed for the last 400,000 years, providing invaluable shelter to the entire human race.

How Dare You Appropriate A Tragedy For A Political Position That Is Not Mine?

I just want to ask you all: how dare you? I am shocked--SHOCKED, I say--to find that many of you are appropriating this tragedy for political gain that I don’t personally agree with. I have seen too many Facebook statuses, Twitter links, and poorly written Tumblr posts that deviate in some slight way from my own deeply held and strangely specific ideologies.

Why can’t you just all come together to understand that I’m right?