SatireV

Breaking

and entering

tea party

Obstructionist, Far-Right Congressmen Announce Plans to Unite Party, Congress, Nation

WASHINGTON, DC-- In front of a throng of reporters today on Capitol Hill, a small group of obstructionist, far-right congressmen announced their plans to overcome partisan gridlock and national political disillusionment by working together to alienate the GOP, Congress, and the nation.
 
The press conference came after House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) withdrew from the race to replace House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH), who plans to resign at the end of October. 
 

Administration Notifies Students About Boston Tea Party

CAMBRIDGE, MA—According to numerous reports, students received an e-mail notification at 4:31 PM yesterday alerting them of the Boston Tea Party. “Between 7:07 and 10:25pm on a Thursday approximately 12,492 weeks ago, a domestic terror cell calling itself the ‘Sons of Liberty’ commandeered a civilian merchant vessel and destroyed its cargo,” the message, titled “Harvard Alert,” read in part. A follow-up “Message Me” text notification went on to say that no immediate threat related to the attack was identified on campus at any point in the last 240 years.