SatireV

Breaking

and entering

:(

Proctor Shocked After Nobody Attends Cocaine-Themed Study Break

common room filled with piles of cocaine
CANADAY BASEMENT — In a disheartening setback for student life at Harvard College, Canaday G proctor Noah R. Wellings confirmed that zero freshmen showed up to his Wednesday night study break, despite the fact that it was based entirely around recreational cocaine use.