SatireV

Breaking

and entering

South Dakota

Hey South Dakota, Why Can't We Make This Work?

dakota
BISMARCK, ND—I can’t say this is easy for me. Or that I haven’t had my fair share of sleepless nights thinking about what this might mean. But I have to listen to my heart on this one: South Dakota, let’s get back together.

It hasn’t been easy for me since our last fight in 1889. I shouldn't have been so arrogant, so wrong about making Bismarck our capital. Ever since, I have been a wreck. Recently I started fracking, and the physical toll it has taken has been awful. I’m falling apart—the doctors have said I have four sinkholes down south already.