NAPERVILLE NORTH HIGH SCHOOL, ILLINOIS — In a bold act of social justice, local quickie connoisseur Becky Jackson announced via ask.fm that she will now exclusively give hand jobs in her high school’s new gender-neutral bathroom.

When asked about it at lunch the next day, the modern-day bell hooks said, “It’s 2018—Social change is all around us. Some hands write laws, other hands hold protest signs, and other hands generously jack off people of all genders.” 

Consequently, the one and only gender-neutral bathroom at Naperville High has become popular. Most hours of the school day a long line forms past the front office into the street, interfering with oncoming traffic. 

Sam, a genderqueer student in line, stated that while most people in line were shaking with excitement, they were shaking because they've been holding their bladder for nearly half an hour. "I’m gonna fucking piss myself," they said. "Even worse I’m pretty sure my gym teacher is three people ahead of me.”

“That said, if after I peed, Becky offered me a hand job, I wouldn’t necessarily say no…”

At press time, gossip was circulating among 10th graders that Jackson’s decision may or may not have something to do with the fact that it’s the only single user bathroom in the school.