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Precious Little Prince Wants Two Different Salsas on Burrito

Such a refined palate as Mr. O'Mara's would never be able to eat a burrito with only one salsa.

BALTIMORE, MD--Numerous eyewitness accounts confirmed today that Joshua O'Mara, 27, who is apparently an ever-so-dignified man of the world with a palate refined beyond our wildest imaginations, ordered two different salsas on his burrito at Sonora Mexican Grill today.

O'Mara, dressed sumptuously in a plaid button-down and jeans that were doubtless ironed by one of His Lordship's serving girls, strode past the mere commoners around him to the counter with a confidence and deportment that can only be the product of generations of the finest aristocratic breeding. Catching the cashier's attention with a "hey, man," the young squire authoritatively demanded his servants' attention with the same innate nobility and gentility with which he oversees his manor house in Hertfordshire.

Moving quickly through the demands of cilantro lime white rice, pollo asada, and queso, O'Mara soon progressed to showing his incredible knowledge of the world and the harsh demands he places on his servants. Commanding that pico de gallo be brought before him, he proved himself a gentleman, far too sensitive for the hot salsa with which we peasants might be content. Yet, in then demanding "a little salsa verde too, please," all before him were made aware that this was a lord of no common rate. A man so demanding of his servants, a man so complex and discerning as to desire the clash of red and green, mild and tangy, chunky and smooth, here truly was a lord born to command, a scion of one of our land's great houses. With a noblesse oblige that would have made Little Lord Fauntleroy himself blush, His Lordship even dropped some change in the tip jar, presumably a mere pittance for one of his elevated status.

Yet the refinement of this young aristocrat dissolved into the debauchery to which too many of his noble house have sunk, as, incorrigible spendthrift that he is, he also demanded "a lime jarrito if you have any."

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