Catering to an often-neglected market, a local barbershop will offer a keen cut for the shrubbery "downstairs".
Often when a boy comes of age, new and difficult transformations happen
to his body, according to experts.. Many of these transformations are left unchecked for the remainder of that boy's life. But it is more healthy and, ultimately, more satisfying for that boy to reign in the follicle forest that sprouts in his nether regions.
"This country has thousands of regular barbershops," explained the barbershop's owner, Dorian Allister. "But I am downright frustrated with the fact that I can't walk in and get a little yard-work done downstairs. I decided to act by creating a business that would cater to everyone's secret body-vines."
Like any good barbershop for the "downstairs", Allister's offers several trims for any man's jungle of love. These include "The Runway," "Richard Simmons," and the ever popular "Dirty South." Customers can expect a quality
trimming and, if requested, braiding, and everything will be finished off with sweet-smelling cologne.
"Dorian's a true entrepreneur," said friend Peter Harrington. "My nether whiskers grow in all directions. My wife says it's like a cactus. Thanks to Dorian's barbershop, though, I'll be able to pop in after work, get a trim, and jet home with a newly aerodynamic
man blade. I'm pumped."
Eager to tap into this niche market, Allister asks anyone with coarse, uncontainable
body-vines to come to his barbershop at their earlier convenience. Appointments are suggested, though drop-ins are accepted. Men packing super-fur will be asked to chip in a few bucks for extra labor.
Though some wondered aloud why Allister's clients-to-be cannot do their own trimming, such skeptics ignore the nuances of a proper knob-job. There are the expensive instruments required to pinpoint follicles, the time and patience it takes to give a good trimming, and a talented mound-rounder. Allister's barbershop
has them all, and each barber will proudly service their customer with a smile.
"We also falamos portugues," said Allister.
