JACKSONVILLE, FL -- Local insurance salesman Joshua Douglas was shocked to discover today that pickles are in fact cucumbers.
"I can't believe I just realized this. I guess I just never thought about it," said Douglas. "Now that I think about it, it seems pretty obvious. I'm not sure how I missed it."
Since his discovery, Douglas has struggled to reckon with the news.
"It's not that I actively thought there was a pickle bush or anything," said Douglas. "But it certainly wasn't out of the realm of possibility."
Douglas said he came across the fact when he performed a Google search for "pickled eggs" while bored at work.
"And then I was like, 'Wait, if you can pickle eggs, then what are pickles?' Turns out they're cucumbers."
Douglas's coworkers were surprised that Douglas was unaware of pickles' origins.
"I always figured he was a dumbass," said accountant Katherine Olsen. "This just confirms it."
"To tell you the truth, I just found out about this a few weeks ago. Welcome aboard the pickle train, Josh!" said mailroom manager Ted Haynes.
At press time, Douglas was seen Googling "Raisins + Grapes + Origin."
Image source: Rebecca Siegel/Flickr
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