1. “You deserve a refund. Student organizations deserve increased, timely funding. We all deserve a new, effective student association that works for us.”

A) UC Email

B) Chancellor Palpatine

Answer: The entitled repetition of “deserve” should be a dead giveaway that this was written by a Harvard student!

2. “In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the first Galactic Empire for a safe and secure society.”

A) UC Email

Are you more of an espresso fellow or a vanilla chai guy? Choose one of these fun, festive fall drinks and we’ll tell you what that says about your innermost insecurities, you vulnerable little coward!

1. Vanilla Chai Latte
   

1. The mission of Harvard College is to educate the citizens and citizen-leaders for our society.

2. Said, "Lil bitch, you can't fuck with me if you wanted to"

3. We do this through our commitment to the transformative power of a liberal arts and sciences education.

4. I don't dance now, I make money moves

5. I'm a boss, you a worker, bitch, I make bloody moves

6. We hope that students will begin to fashion their lives by gaining a sense of what they want to do with their gifts and talents... 

These "would you rather" questions are darn near impossible, especially if you have a paralyzing fear of commitment. Would you rather...

1. Flunk out of college OR not be allowed to respond “maybe” to your friend’s party on Facebook?

Oh boy is this one difficult. You could choose to be an incredible disappointment to your family and jeopardize your future job prospects. But then again how can you be certain that you won’t be invited to an even better party at the same time?

1. “Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?”

2. “The mask of perfection wears us down.”

3. “Who am I?”

4. “No-one knows who I am.”

5. “If I were truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart.”

6. “You’ll die for honor.”

7. “We share the belief that we are here to do something together that none of us could do alone.”