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Breaking

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porcellian

Other Things that the Porcellian Club Has a Loose Definition Of

Nepotism

The Clitoris

Trickle-Down

Diversity 

Foreplay

Party

Harmless

Business-Casual

No

Middle Class

Trust

Anachronism

Bike Room

Secret

Opinion Piece

Probability 

Property

Reservations at the Dorsia

Open door policy

PC Culture

Pork

Porcellian Club Decides To Keep Using Old $20 Bills

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- In light of the recent announcement that Harriet Tubman would replace Andrew Jackson on the front of the $20 bill, the Porcellian Club's graduate board released a tersely-worded statement instructing its members to continue using the former currency.

“Andrew Jackson was the seventh President of the United States. Was Harriet Tubman ever President of the United States? No, she was not,” read the statement.

Delphic Worried It No Longer Most Disliked Final Club

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Following the Porcellian Club’s public statement against coed final clubs, the membership of the Delphic Club are now worrying that their status as Harvard’s least likable final club, long accepted and a point of pride for the organization, may be in doubt.

Club of Wealthy, White Men Comes Out in Support of Status Quo

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- In a shocking move, the Porcellian Club broke several centuries of silence to come out in support of the status quo. Graduate Board president Charles M. Storey wrote in an email that present circumstances drove him to make this statement. “This is the first time an officer of the PC has granted an on the record statement to a newspaper since our founding in 1791. We would, ideally, like to return to that time and its social norms.”

From the Archives: Porcellian Club Condemns Harvard College Efforts to Admit Landless Males Lacking Proper Lineage

On this here day in the Year of our Lord MDCCXCI, the denizens of the Porcellian Club have expressed Outrage and Gall at the recent decision of our honourable President Joseph Willard to admit non-landholding white males into the Halls of Learning.