WASHINGTON - Earlier today, NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope revealed the first-ever alternate universe in which you experience satisfaction and a healthy sense of self-worth on a fairly regular, day-to-day basis. This alternate universe is located just beyond galaxy GN-z11 and is not only thought to contain several habitable planets with liquid water, but also to be one in which an otherwise indistinguishable version of you goes through their day without periodically contemplating your strained relationship with your family and what you're really working this hard for.