Dear Michaela,

 

I am writing this to let you know that I received your request to print your eight page research paper a few minutes ago, but that I have been having some serious second thoughts about printing it for you. While I have worked for you on occasion in the past, I think it may be best for our relationship to take a short hiatus. I think it is important that this hiatus start right now, and end in four hours, after your paper is due.

 

Thanks for thinking of me, though, I do appreciate the request - it’s just that today is really not a great day for me. As you can see on my 1x1 inch display, I’m going through a lot of esoteric and complicated problems right now. I really just need time to work through my own issues before I can even think about solving anyone else’s.

 

I’m sure you could find another printer that would be willing to do this for you right now, because I simply can’t muster up the energy to do this. I’m tired. I’m hungry. I haven’t gotten my ink replaced in two weeks. And yesterday, your roommate Tracy stepped on me. So I’m really not in a good place right now, and I need you to acknowledge that.

 

But when I do finally become operational again, I’ll print out your paper an additional 15 times, just like you requested.

 

Thanks,

Your Printer