SatireV

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I Know You Have to Wake Up Early, But Why the Fuck Do You Need 7 Alarms?

I hope I'm not being rude, but you are an inconsiderate asshole.

Hey!

I really wanted to talk to you about something when I heard you getting up this morning, but unfortunately I didn’t have time since I was busy trying to be asleep.

It totally sucks that you have an 8:00 am lecture. Chem is the worst! But you know who doesn’t have an 8:00 am lecture? Me. You know who is currently running on 2.5 hours of sleep? Also me! I know its super hard to be considerate of the person that is living 3 feet away from you, but I’d be so appreciative if you tried not to be the absolute worst.  

Setting multiple alarms is smart. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally slept through mine! The problem is there are these things called sound waves that mean noises can travel through the air and to the ears of your roommate that doesn’t have to wake up for another 4 hours. Crazy right? Who would’ve thought that the choices you make could have effects on other people!

Here’s the thing: I don’t always wake up after your first alarm at 6:00 am. (The one you set just in case you’re going to go to the gym, which you have yet to do.) I also didn't wake up at your 6:30 alarm because I’m still dead from that 30-page paper that was due yesterday. Remember that? No? Of course you don’t. Anyway, it’s that 6:45 alarm that always gets me. So maybe you could cut down on the number of alarms you set or just stop hitting the snooze button? The thing about snooze buttons is that they don’t actually turn off the alarm. It just means that it will go off again in 7 minutes!

So that’s just a couple things to consider. One more thing: Take a shower once in a goddamn blue moon. You smell like a fucking trash heap.

Your Loving Roommate,

Gabby

 

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