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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Dr. Paul J. Barreira
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Dear Members of the Harvard Community,
 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE FLU! THE MUMPS! H1N1! H2N2! THE DISAPPEARANCE OF BEES AT AN ALARMING RATE! OH MY GOD! AHHHHHHHHH!
 
Everywhere you look. Everyone you know. So many public places, with people, who are SICK, with the MUMPS, and the FLU, AND YOU WILL ALL GET INFECTED. WE'RE ALL GOING TO GET INFECTED!
 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Don't bother washing your hands. BURN THEM OFF! Douse yourself in gasoline, drop a match, and BID THIS CRUEL WORLD FAREWELL!
 
Hand sanitizer? Bottoms up. Coughing into the crook of your elbow? There is no defense against this fate, no recourse from it. The actions of mere mortals are nothing compared to the unstoppable force that now bears down on us. IT'S COMING FOR US ALL! THE SICKNESS! THERE'S NO TIME!
 
Dear God, I never thought it would end like this. I thought we could contain it. I failed all of you. I failed all of humanity. I'm sorry. I'M SORRY. FORGIVE ME. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
Sincerely,
 
Dr. Paul J. Barreira, MD
Director, Harvard University Health Services
Henry K. Oliver Professor of Hygiene
 
© 2018
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