SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Math 21b

Oliver Knill Sets Self on Fire, Kills Student During Math 21b Review Session

Science Center C

Science Center Hall C—Renowned avant-garde performance artist and part-time professor of mathematics Oliver Knill was rushed to the hospital last night after setting himself on fire during a routine Math 21b review session. It was during Knill's eagerly awaited “Wait, what does this have to do with math again?” segment that tragedy struck, resulting in 3rd-degree polynomial burns and the unfortunate death of a freshman.