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Lowell Bell Just Looking to Get Banged

Lowell House aerial
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Area percussion instrument Lowell Bell has not peeped a sound in almost a year. After yet another night spent alone, silent on her perch above Mount Auburn Street, Bell has confessed that she just wants to get banged.
 
"At this point, I'd be game for a one-night stand with anyone ap-pealing enough," said Bell. "A massive dong would be nice."

Lowell House Renovation Designates More Spaces for Common

CAMBRIDGE, MA – Lowell House’s renovation plans reveal that the updated House will include more Common spaces.

Several rooms on Lowell’s proposed blueprint—including a lounge and a theater—are specifically marked off for Common, the 44-year-old rapper and actor.

“The University is really trying to focus student life in the Houses,” said Diana L. Eck, one of Lowell’s Faculty Deans. “And I think the best way to do that is to make sure that we have ample Common spaces. You know he has an Oscar?”