On Friday, God threw a bolt of lightning from the heavens and obliterated Bethany A. Silber ’21 as punishment for Sparknotes-ing the Bible for her Humanities Colloquium class.

An ominous voice boomed from the sky moments before Silber was struck as she left Lionel for section. Mower resident Devin P. Hamilton ’21 recalls, “When I first heard the voice, I thought someone was just playing Morgan Freeman’s scenes from Bruce Almighty, but then I realized that it was actually coming from the clouds.”