SatireV

Breaking

and entering

What Really Happened on the Bus Ride to the Delphic Punch Outing

Little old me and my best buds! :)

The person who submitted this has asked to remain anonymous.


Nobody wants to say it, so I will: there’s a lack of transparency surrounding Final Clubs. I’m coming forward to share my personal experience at the Delphic’s second round outing last weekend with the hope that it clears up all skepticism about the club’s punch process. Particularly, I would like to detail what I witnessed on the hours-long ride we took up to Grass Lake Place in a school bus. When we boarded, the PunchMasters immediately claimed the last row of seats to assert just how much power they had. And, as soon as we pulled away for our destination, well, it was… 


SO! MUCH! FUN! First, Sully and Max showed us how to play "Sweet or Sour." Basically, what you do is wave out the back windows of the bus to people. If they wave or smile back, they’re Sweet, and if they don’t, they’re Sour. I don’t want to embarrass anybody reading this, but it was super funny when the Blackbird Donuts van honked back at us (Sweet). And we were losing it when Swamp Jebediah waved to us in the crosswalk--SJ is always good for a laugh (Sweet). The game ended when an angry man in a truck flipped us off (Sour) though, because Grape got really nervous and started crying pretty bad.


And then-and then-and then! And then, we played a game where you hit your knuckles and both sides of your hands against the seat in front of you to the tune of “Double double, this this, double double, that that, double, this, double, that, double double, this, that!” Nobody could do it as fast as Rules McCarthy, but he was really bad at Miss Mary Mac, so that made me feel better. We even got to 97 in “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” (Sweet) before Little Jonny threw up on his lap for no reason (Sour). The silliest part was when the PunchMasters wrote cuss words on the foggy windows.


Candidly, my day with the Delphic was wicked cool, and I can’t wait for our next field trip. Now that I know what it’s really like, I just don’t get why everybody doesn’t join!
© 2019
Category: