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Breaking

and entering

Pegasus Found in Thayer Utility Closet

Sources confirm that a mythical flying creature known as a "Pegasus" was found in the Thayer utility closet, next to the mop.

It would be the first time a Pegasus has been sighted in real life, except for that one time Gary dressed up at the local Dungeons & Dragons game and everyone was fooled.

The Pegasus appears to have been in the closet for days.

"I thought "" golly! What a fucked up horse," said Freshman Maintenance Operations employee and Pegasus discoverer
Frank Nelson. "Then I saw the wings. Those big fucking wings."

Nelson has reported the Pegasus to Yard Operations, which has reported the incident to the President's office, whereupon a committee is expected to be formed to explore relocation options for the horse.

The committee's statement of "Guiding Principles" is expected sometime 2012.

Though no one knows how the Pegasus got into the utility closet, the more immediate concern is how to feed a hungry Pegasus. Proposals include water, oats, and meaty people.

Once shipping costs are factored in, water and oats are no longer feasible. Consequently efforts to round up meaty people have begun.

The Pegasus has trampled upon several items in the utility closet including the mop, the bucket, and the wireless router. Said frustrated Thayer nerd Philip Zhang, "How am I going to upload my problem sets in time? Can't we just kill the monster?"

Many Harvard students are sharpening their knives, frustrated by the fact that a biological miracle is interrupting their studies.

No report yet on whether people who dream about the Pegasus are, in fact, gay.
© 2008
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