NEPAL – In a strategic move from Mt. Auburn to Mt. Everest, the Accessible Education Office hopes to level the playing field for all students. After catching wind of a state-of-the-art skyscraper recently constructed atop Mt. Everest’s highest peak, Harvard did not hesitate to stake a claim on the new real estate. Naturally, the administration decided that the AEO would be the most appropriate candidate for this new location.

In order to uphold its mission of providing accommodations to all students “who have a legal entitlement to them” and not students with chronic hangovers, the AEO has moved its office far away where only truly determined and deserving students can find it.

AEO-registered students stand in full support of the move. "Life at Harvard with a disability is so easy,” said No One Fucking Ever, “I’m thrilled to have more obstacles.” In response to the non-registered students claiming to have illegitimate disabilities, AEO president Ida G. Afok says, “When they go low, we go really fucking high.”

In addition to the move to Mt. Everest, the AEO has disconnected its email servers and telephone lines and transitioned to a Sherpa-based delivery system. Students interested in contacting the AEO must travel by tugboat to Nepal and then bribe locals with Crimson Cash to climb Mt. Everest and deliver their messages.

Afok remains hopeful that this will promote growth and collaboration within the disabled community because truly, Llife is all about the climb, right?”