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5 Better Places to Hide Your Dead Roommate than the Farnsworth Room in Lamont

If not in the Farnsworth Room of Lamont Library, where else should you hide the body? Turns out, there are many other potential places.

CAMBRIDGE, MA - We’ve all been there. It’s job hunting season, you’re stressed out, and you have to deal with the body of your dead roommate before the authorities figure out that they're dead. Lucky for you, we’ve got some tips on where to hide his body. All five of these places are better ideas than hiding your it in the Farnsworth Room of Lamont, which is populated by students at almost every hour of the day. Seriously, it will not take them long to find it. Trust us.

1) The Charles River

The Charles River is located quite close to many of the River Houses, and the current of the river will carry the body far away. This is in contrast with the Farnsworth Room of Lamont, which is stationary.

2) The basement of Adams House

The basement of Adams House is creepy and weird, so people may not be surprised to find a dead body down there. The Farnsworth Room of Lamont, on the other hand, is a cozy environment for all to enjoy, so a dead body will stick out like a sore thumb.

3) The walkway between Maxwell Dworkin and Pierce Hall

Unlike the interiors of the buildings of Maxwell Dworkin and Pierce, the walkway between them is not monitored by security cameras. The Farnsworth Room in Lamont, meanwhile, has security cameras on the inside and outside which are capable of providing evidence that you put the body there, even if you turn the lights out first.

4) Winthrop Dhall

Winthrop Dhall offers several advantages over the Farnsworth room in Lamont. Most notably, Winthrop Dhall is a bustling place full of noise and energy all the time. The Farnsworth room is not silent, but is definitely still quieter than most other places on campus, and the noise of your roomate's body dragging along the floor behind you may cause some to look up from their books.

5) The Austin and Chilton McDonnell Math Common Room

Mathematicians are notoriously absent-minded people, and may not notice the dead body you are leaving in their midst. This is in contrast with the Farnsworth Room in Lamont, which has multiple shelves of nothing but murder mystery novels that may attract amateur crime-solvers to your case. Note: This one works much better if you are male; otherwise you may be asked to leave the common room and take your dead roommate’s body with you.

 

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