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Commentators Lamb-ast Tom Brady, Say He’s No Longer the GOAT

After an offensive bleatdown at the hands of the Philadelphia Eagles, Tom Brady has lost his GOAT status in the minds of many football insiders.

“Yes, he’s defeated a real hooves-who of great teams,” ESPN commentator Stephen A. Smith said on Around the Horn. “But it’s udderly absurd and ludicrously e-goat-istical for Patriots fans to claim that Tom Brady is undeniably the GOAT when he can’t even bleat the Eagles without their starting quarterback. That’s one of the most blasphemous things I’ve ever herd. I love you, Brady, but it's clear you're officially pasture prime.”

Enterprising Goat Launches WhenToBleat

PASTURES OF SILICON VALLEY – Billy, an enterprising goat, has launched WhenToBleat, a scheduling tool that allows his brethren to determine mutually convenient times to emit nasally screeches.

“The sheep and the goats were wailing at totally different times,” Billy explained. “It was a hot-mutton issue on the farm—the cows were really bovine themselves.”