PASADENA, CA - A team of scientists at the California Institute of Technology announced today that, after years of research, they have finally determined the amount of racism that white liberals are willing to tolerate.

 

"This has been a long and arduous project, and we're glad it has reached a satisfying conclusion," said Dr. Hannah Underwood, the project's head researcher. "Some things were obvious. Slavery, the Klan—white liberals obviously find those repulsive."