SatireV

Breaking

and entering

the food is good tho

The Emptiness Inside of Me Can Only Be Filled by Lukewarm Leftovers in the D-Hall

Visitas Hosts Practice Lying in Mirror

Cambridge, MA—Citing encouragement from the college at large, many hosts of the newly admitted class of 2021 have started preparations for the baldfaced lying they will do during the course of the weekend. “Every year on campus we try to look for the most competent and welcoming hosts for our new students,” said Director of Visitas Tim Smith, ’08 in an interview, “and one of the most essential skills a Visitas host can have is to be able to shamelessly lie about student life at Harvard”.