SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Exclusivity

Five Symmetrical Faces That Will DEFINITELY Get into Crimson Key

The Crimson Key Society's annual spring comp is underway! With hundreds of compers and only an 11.5% acceptance rate, it can be tricky to know which exquisite, mirror-like visage will make it into Harvard's premiere "service" organization. 

Turkey Club Inducts Inaugural Punch Class

CAMBRIDGE, MA —The Turkey Club, Harvard's newest and most feather-ridden final club, inducted its first punch class over the weekend.
 
The Club, affectionately known as "The Gobb" and located in the general vicinity of Plympton Street, sprung up this fall in response to a growing number of turkeys who have literally nothing to do.
 

The Single-Gender Organization That Accepted Me Is NOT Exclusive

For the past two years in SigmaDeltaBetathanyou, I’ve seriously met some of the most compassionate and accepting people at Harvard. This community just screams inclusivity and empowerment, and it is simply outrageous that the administration has decided to group my organization with all of the icky exclusive organizations that rejected me.

Gov 1359 Emerges as New Exclusive Social Space on Campus

CAMBRIDGE, MA – At 7 pm last Monday, Gov 1359: The Road to the White House opened its doors for the first time in four years to a crowd of more than 500 students. This class on the American political process, which meets for only three hours a week and includes a “campaign memo” assignment worth as much as the midterm, instantly became a hit with anyone looking for a “gem” this semester.

Op-Ed: Dismantle Harvard Now

 

It's time to talk about dismantling Harvard. Its existence is premised on exclusivity, which is central to its role in the American social landscape. Being a Harvard student signifies fitting into an elite social circle that rejects subpar classmates. Only abolition of Harvard will show true commitment to inclusion and respect.