University of Chicago essay prompt? Or Insane Clown Posse?

1. “Little pigs, french hens, a family of bears. Blind mice, musketeers, the Fates. Parts of an atom, laws of thought, a guideline for composition. Omne trium perfectum?”

2. “Oceans spanning beyond my sight, and a million stars way above them at night. We don't have to be high to look in the sky and know that's a miracle opened wide.”

3. “The German word ‘fremdschämen’ encapsulates the feeling you get when you’re embarrassed on behalf of someone else.”

4. The mantis shrimp can perceive both polarized light and multispectral images; they have the most complex eyes in the animal kingdom....What might they be able to see that we cannot? What are we missing?”

 5. “What's this clown shit about?”

 6. “I mean what kind of asshole can't find his way out of this maze?”

 7. “How are apples and oranges supposed to be compared?”

 Answers:

 1. UChicago. Just the right mix of pretension and asyndeton.

 2. Insane Clown Posse. Although it does sound like the answer to a potential UChicago essay prompt, this excerpt derives from an Insane Clown Posse tune.

 3. UChicago. ICP can’t spit German, silly.

 4. UChicago. We’re missing water and clams. That’s what we’re missing.

 5. Insane Clown Posse. The keyword here was “clown.”

 6. Insane Clown Posse. UChicago would prefer its students to get lost in the maze in an existential search for the self.

 7. UChicago. They only ask the important questions.