SatireV

Breaking

and entering

the dissolution of the American political establishment

The Republican Party's Potential Replacements for Antonin Scalia

With Senate Republicans refusing to vote on any potential nominee for the Supreme Court, many have speculated as to who Republicans hope to nominate in the event that they win the coming presidential election this November. To that effect, Satire V presents the conclusive list of potential Republican nominees:

1. The ghost of Antonin Scalia.

2. The ghost of Ronald Reagan.

3. Casper, the friendly ghost.

4. The ghost of Adam Smith's Invisible Hand of the free market.

Bush Runs for Office, Trips

COLUMBIA, S.C.--Earlier today, Jeb Bush tripped on the sidewalk on the side of a major thoroughfare, tumbling to the ground in front of stunned spectators. Bush reportedly overslept and missed his limousine ride to a South Carolina primary results watch party, forcing him to jog 2.3 miles to his campaign headquarters.